Dear Thalia,

Every time I have sex I have to jump up and run to the bathroom and pee immediately afterward. This drives my girlfriend nuts because she wants to cuddle in the afterglow of lovemaking.  But I just can't stay.  I have to go and listen to her protests the whole time.  I totally get what she's saying.  It destroys the mood when I jump up and run away.  What causes the urge and is there anything I can do stop it?

Sincerely,

Flushing

Dear Flushing:

I'm sure it is frustrating for both you and your partner to deal with this urge to pee after sex. While I can't know what might be causing your specific urge to pee, I can provide some common reasons women feel the urge to pee after sex.

When a woman achieves an orgasm the uterus will also contract.  Given the close proximity of the uterus to the bladder, the uterine contractions can disturb the bladder thus causing the urge to pee.

If you are experiencing an unusual or frequent urge to pee at times other than after sex, then you may be experiencing a urinary tract infection (UTI).  If the urge is accompanied by dribbling, this could also indicate a UTI or possibly urge incontinence.

If the urge is limited to only after sex and particularly after having an orgasm, then you may want to try a couple of things to improve the situation.

First, if you are certain your bladder is empty, try remaining still and see if the urge disappears.

Second, to strengthen your pelvic muscles, be sure to practice your Kegel exercises.  For best results, contract your pelvic muscles hard for one second and then release them.  Do this ten times in a row and repeat the process at least five times per day.  InControl Medical offers the Apex, an automatic pelvic floor exerciser.  I don't have any personal experience with the device nor do I know anyone who has used the device.  It is available without a prescription.

Finally, though less common, there could be an underlying psychological condition such as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) or similar causing the urge to pee, or run after sex.

You know your body better than anyone.  For peace of mind, I would recommend visiting your doctor to rule out any underlying medical condition.  If everything checks out, then your urge to pee is most likely perfectly normal and you could try to remain still and see if it passes or make a quick trip to the bathroom and then return to bed to cuddle with your partner.