Help! I'm Thirty-Two Years Old And I've Never Had An Orgasm

Dear Thalia,

 
I'm nearly thirty-two years old and I've never had an orgasm. I have had sex with one man (well lad) in the past, before I came out, and basically did it because I was trying to be straight. Yeah that didn't work. It was basically uncomfortable and painful each of the few times it happened. 
Since coming out about eight years ago I haven't even attempted to date. This is for two reasons. The first is I'm disabled and it's hard to get out. The second, and probably the biggest reason, is because I am worried about sex. 

If I can't even give myself an orgasm how could I please someone else?

I read a lot, and most of the books have sex scenes in them. And while I enjoy these scenes, I just don't really feel aroused or the need to touch myself. I sometimes get wet but I don't feel anything else. 

I have touched myself and used a few different vibrators, but I've done that more because I want to have an orgasm and know what it's like. Not because I feel the need to do it. I find it pleasurable especially with a vibrator but I still don't orgasm. I feel like I'm getting close but then it just goes away and I get frustrated with myself. I guess I have a few issues going on here.

What should I do? 

Sincerely,

Too Tense and Confused